If you’ve been with me for a while, you know I’ve spent over two decades navigating autoimmune illness. And in that time, I’ve dialed in a lot:

• Food — nutrient-dense, anti-inflammatory, gut-supporting. I’ve tried it all here and have come to a nice, relaxed approach to my “diet”. I typically don’t say a hard no unless it’s gluten. I eat what most would consider a 90/10 plan, and it makes me feel great, and I never feel deprived.

• Movement — strength, mobility, daily walking, listening to my body. I no longer push to exhaustion. I do enough to stay strong and healthy, and to have some fun too.

• Sleep — a non-negotiable foundation. I go to bed between 9:30 and 10 and wake between 5 and 6. I get 7.5 hours of sleep most nights and wake up feeling great without an alarm.

These pieces didn’t change my life overnight; they changed it slowly, consistently, faithfully.
But one piece remained stubborn. Quiet. Sneaky.

The nervous system.

And I’ll be honest: this one has been the hardest. It has been my focus the entire year since my dad passed away last April, and I’m still learning. As background, I would definitely consider myself a type A, perfectionist-leaning personality in my 20s-40s. I never believed I was enough in my doing, in my achieving, and in just being. I also pretty much never sat still. I’m definitely not saying this as a badge of honor; I believe it broke me a bit, but not beyond repair.

The Stress I Didn’t Know I Had

For years, I would have told you:
“I’m actually not that stressed.”

And emotionally, I wasn’t. I mean, we all have our days (or years). 
But physiologically?
My Oura Ring, Whoop, and every other metric told a different story.

Chronic high stress scores.
Elevated overnight HR.Low HRV.
Restlessness.
A system that never turns fully “off.”

I wasn’t feeling stressed most of the time, but I was living in sympathetic overdrive: fight-or-flight mode. My body was so used to fighting for its survival that it would never turn off.

If you’ve had autoimmune symptoms, chronic illness, or trauma in your history, this might sound familiar. The body learns to live “on guard,” even when the mind thinks it’s safe.

My body had been holding tension + vigilance for 24 years. That’s a very long time to be bracing for something.

So this season isn’t about “relaxing.”
It’s about retraining my nervous system to remember it’s safe.

What I’m Doing Now to Rewire My Nervous System

And I want to be clear:
These are not hacks.
They are practices, and I’m still a major work in progress, retraining, re-patterning, reminding.

1. Apollo Neuro

I wear this daily to support shifts out of sympathetic activation.
It doesn’t knock me out; it’s very subtle; it simply nudges my system toward calm and regulated. Often, the general vibrations serve as a reminder to breathe.

2. HeartMath

Working with heart-rate coherence to retrain emotional tone via breath + intention.
Small shifts. Big downstream effects. I’ve only been doing this a month now, but I can get into “coherence” much more quickly than when I first started. I am to do this once per day, sometimes twice, for 5-10 minutes.

3. Meditation

Not hours.
Not perfect.
But near daily, consistent presence.
Even 5 minutes counts.

I’ve been using the Waking Up app for probably 5 years, I’ve written my own meditations, and I occasionally practice Transcendental Meditation (TM). I like to do at least 20 minutes because I find I can usually “get there” in that amount of time. I call BS on anyone who tells me they can’t meditate. You should have met me when I began this journey. When I started in my mid-40s, it was like wrangling cats for sure.

4. Journaling (without fixing anything)

Letting thoughts leave my head + land somewhere else.
Not for problem-solving, for processing, and maybe learning a thing or two about my mind. 

5. Breathwork (I use SOMA)

Breath is one of the few direct levers we have to shift the nervous system state.
When in doubt: longer exhale > inhale.

I bought a course to become an instructor, but I have only completed the first level of training. #2026 goals.

6. Therapy

For the first time in my adult life, I am sitting with someone who helps me see what I can’t see about my patterns.
We don’t heal in isolation. I’ve literally only gone 3 times and I’ve apologized every time as I feel there are more deserving with major “T” trauma. But hey, I’m trying to be the best version of myself.

7. PEMF

Helps shift my physiology into a parasympathetic state.
I use it while reading, meditating, or before sleep. It’s like a huge heating pad and I’m absolutely in love. It is going to make my winter so much better!

8. Sauna + Hot/Cold Therapy

Controlled stress that teaches my system: I am for three sessions per week of sauna, and then finish with a cold shower.

9. Adrenal Support

Adaptogens + minerals (under guidance, never guesswork

Magnesium

Adrenal formulas
Restoring the foundation before expecting the system to perform.

10. Unplugged Walks

No earbuds.
No multitasking.
Just me + the world I’m actually in.
Nature is a parasympathetic environment. My shoulders drop instantly when I’m outside, even when it’s 20 degrees out.

11. Presence > Productivity

My goal right now is not to do more or be “better.”
My goal is to be here NOW.

12. No Social Media/Media Sundays (and daily limits)

Because my nervous system cannot regulate in a constant state of comparison, I felt the best I’d felt all year when I took 6 weeks off all media this summer, and since then, I’ve found I have a tough time going back. With my job, social media feels like a must-do, but I’m now working and then getting off. Plain and simple. I’m not the person to ask what’s going on in politics or what happened in the news. I’m blissfully ignorant. I know that upsets some people but that’s ok. They don’t own my nervous system.

The Truth I’m Learning

Healing the nervous system is not glamorous.
You can’t white-knuckle your way to calm.
You cannot “mindset” your way out of fight-or-flight.

Your nervous system learns safety through experience.
Through repetition.
Through choosing yourself in small moments, over and over.

This is patience work.
This is self-trust work.
This is lifelong work.

But I believe deeply that this is the final piece of my healing.
The one that makes all the others stick.

I’m willing to try pretty much anything.

If This Resonated With You

You don’t have to do all of this.
Start with one thing that feels kind, not corrective.

• One breath pattern.

• One walk without a phone.

• One moment of noticing your body before reacting.

And remember:

You are not “beyond repair.” Your nervous system has simply been carrying too much for too long. 

We can teach it something new starting today.

Cheers to your health,
XDeeDee