I’ve been a little MIA after a long stretch of weekly blog and social media posts.
I’ve actually been blogging for over 10 years. My very first year wasn’t even under Feed Mind Body Soul. It was a weekly newsletter sent to members of local gyms titled “What’s in My Smoothie and Why.” I would share a recipe, explain every ingredient, and then write about whatever health topic was on my heart.
This was before the LLC. Before the programs.
I had just graduated as a Holistic Nutritionist. I attended The Institute of Holistic Nutrition while living in Canada, but had to move back 2 classes shy of graduation, so I wrapped up online via the Edison Institute. I didn’t have a strategy. I just had a story and a passion.
Holistic Nutrition Diploma
At that point, I had “healed” myself from three out of four supposedly lifelong chronic autoimmune illnesses. I went from handfuls of medications to none. I have now been unmedicated for over a decade. (Yes, I’m on bioidentical hormones now, but I see that as supporting physiology, not masking disease.)
Since then, I’ve:
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Worked with hundreds, possibly thousands, of clients
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Led 9 large-scale annual January clean-eating programs
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Facilitated 17 large-scale group detoxes
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Built Feed Mind Body Soul from age 45 to 54
I have been deeply blessed to turn something I love into meaningful work. Isn’t that what this life thing is all about?
But last year, something shifted.
The Year of Shedding
On Retreat in May 2025
I didn’t know it at the time, but it aligned with the Year of the Snake in the Chinese lunar calendar, a year symbolically associated with shedding and transformation.
And that’s exactly what it felt like.
Letting go of identities I had outgrown.
Releasing the pressure to perform.
Dropping the emotional weight I carried for others.
In deep meditation, I saw it clearly, layer by layer, being stripped away. It felt like removing a weighted blanket that had kept me pinned to the ground for so many years.
At the same time, my physical health was struggling. How could this be with all I had done?
Chronic infections.
Long COVID.
Mold illness.
Autoimmune flares.
CT scans confirmed what I was feeling. My lungs showed cysts and bronchiectasis, and my doctor assured me this was “expected” for someone with Alpha-1, and I was still her healthiest Alpha patient. I coughed daily. I cleared my throat constantly. I was afraid to speak publicly in case I spiraled into a coughing fit. I feared being kicked out of yoga, as my mom was when she was first diagnosed. That story she told always broke my heart.
I could feel how much fear and nervous system dysregulation were fueling the fire.
Let me be clear: I do not believe people “cause” their illnesses through thought alone. Genetics, environment, and exposures absolutely matter. I did literally sleep on black mold for most likely 6 months, I did have Lyme disease in 2016, and my genetics are pretty crappy.
But I also know this: our nervous system plays a powerful role in whether we stay stuck or begin to heal.
And I knew mine was exhausted after so many years of pushing, proving, and pleasing.
Rebuilding, Cell by Cell
I decided to shed it.
I found practitioners I trusted.
I doubled down on nervous system support.
I stopped pretending.
A Magical Moment Post Tamazcal Ceremony
I questioned everything, including whether I wanted to continue leading large group programs when what I craved was intimacy and depth.
I chose to run one final Strong + Lean to end on a positive note. But I knew in my core it was the end of that chapter.
The Space Between Chapters
I don’t know exactly what’s next.
And that’s uncomfortable. If you know me, I’m not good at sitting.
The doer in me wants clarity yesterday. The liminal space is not where I feel comfortable. The Leo in me would love a spotlight and a plan. But I’m resisting the urge to rush.
The wellness space feels louder than ever. The AI-generated content. The constant marketing. The sameness of it all.
I don’t want to contribute to noise for the sake of holding on to an identity.
This is not an anti-technology stance. It’s an alignment stance. I know deep down we all shine when we are aligned.
I don’t feel called to feed the algorithm. I feel called to feed connection.
The Year of Creation
If last year was Snake energy, the shedding, this year feels like Fire Horse energy.
Seeing the Beauty of the Infinite
Creation.
Boldness.
Independence.
Building from truth.
Not scaling bigger.
Building deeper.
More intimate conversations.
Long walks and coffees with women who want substance over performance.
Smaller rooms. Real connection.
That’s what lights me up.
So What Now?
This is not the end.
It’s an evolution. Part of me wonders if this is the inevitable for EVERY 50-plus-year-old woman. We’ve served and done for everyone for so long that the shedding is a sacred time. I’m going to do my best to honor that. I hope you do too if you are feeling that pull.
I won’t disappear. But I will be quieter for now. More intentional. Posting when inspired instead of obligated.
I need space to get quiet enough to hear what wants to be built next.
And I trust that when it’s clear, I hope you’ll feel it too.
Cheers to Your Health,
DeeDee
Thank you or this DeeDee. I think taking a step back from the normal routine is healthy from time to time. Spending quality time with those who really matter and bring joy and light to our world, also! I’m curious, besides creating delicious and healthy meals,’what do you do creatively for your soul? Paint? Write? Decorate? Make something?
Thanks so much, Connie! Love that take! I’ve tried pottery and a bit of off-hand painting with my daughter, who is still at home. I know where I’m being drawn to for the moment is small, intimate discussions, reading, journaling, meditating, breathing, and being in nature as much as possible. Also, trying to be ok with not having a definite plan. I definitely don’t see this as an end, just a change and evolution.
DeeDee I have mixed emotions reading this – so happy you are taking the time to figure out what really serves you best – sad that perhaps the large group program has done a final wrap – but you have given me/us the tools. At 65 I sit and wonder what I want to do. I do very little but I am content with what I am doing. I hope you find that too – contentedness and doing what truly brings you joy. You have been such an inspiration. Your words often strike a chord in me and help me sit and reflect and ultimately be okay with who I am and what I do. It’s ok to let go and find what brings you joy and peace. I am sincerely grateful for all you do. Thank you!!
Thanks Doreen! I’ve so enjoyed getting to know you over these years. You and Ed have been an inspiration. My goal in life is peace and contentment. If you are not pulled to “do” or “create” for the sense of it I think that is an amazing place to be. To be present, aware, and content is, I feel, a life well lived. As I said, this is not the end for Feed Mind Body Soul, just an evolution. XDeeDee
I feel this to my core. As someone who has a hard time accepting that I cannot do everything, as someone who has been told to restrict myself, it has been a mind f*ck lately. My body was telling me that “having it all” was taking a toll. Change is hard, but as you’ve always said, I’ll listen to my body. I’m kinda better at it?? I look forward to some quality time with you soon. Maybe doing nothing!
I had a feeling this would hit home for you on many levels. The doer in us doesn’t take this lightly. It’s fighting tooth and nail to cling. Lets walk and figure out this universe:)
Thank you. As a woman in mid 60’s, I need to shed. Change. It’s terrifying but I am too tired to continue at this pace. Thank you for the courage of sharing. I do want to find a retreat for some quiet time
You’ve got this Monica. You have persevered through some big challenges and that has made you tougher than most. Trust that evolution and progression is always there. XDeeDee
I remember sitting with you at Starbucks discussing your dream and helping you decide your logo. I have benefited from your programs and even cooked soups for some members. You have been an inspiration to many and helped us learn a healthy lifestyle. It’s not a diet, but a lifestyle of healthy eating. I wish you all the best s you transition to your next lifestyle.
I remember that day as well. I so appreciate all of your support through this and our former long distance running days. Seems like yesterday and forever ago!
Wow! This really resonates with me, DeeDee.
Congratulations on shutting out the noise and following what’s best for you. I’m on a similar journey. I didn’t know about the Chinese year meanings, but that’s helpful. So thank you. I’ll be excited to see what’s next for you!
I gave a presentation yesterday and heard the same thing from a few ladies. I think it’s a collective letdown after “doing it all” for so long. It’s ok to stop, take some time, and evaluate what we value and how we want to put our energy. We’ve earned it. XDeeDee