If you’ve been with me a while, you know I cherish the holidays, and I’ve pretty much hosted every single one of them for the past 20+ years. I don’t do Thanksgiving, but I host a huge party the night before. I genuinely love it, but this year, I’m loving it a little less. As my last blog post discussed, I’m really focused on healing my nervous system this year, and that is my number one priority.  I’ve lived enough life (and burned myself out enough times) to finally say:

Some things are just not coming with me into December anymore.

Consider this your permission slip to do less, enjoy more, and protect your peace as if it were your full-time job.

Here’s what I’m no longer doing this holiday season…
and the sustainable habits I’m choosing instead.

❌ 1. Saying Yes to Everything

For years, I said yes because it felt easier than dealing with the guilt of saying no. I’m also a people pleaser at heart and never want to hurt anyone’s feelings. I honestly never recognized that until this year. It’s just my ego wanting to be liked. I guess what I’m saying is I’m trying to be completely ok with people not liking me. Have you gotten there yet? I’m a work in progress.

Here’s where pleasing people leads me: 
Overwhelm, resentment, and three-day recovery periods with an autoimmune flare.

This year?
No is a complete sentence. No, I will not stay at a party past midnight to fit in and be “fun”. No, I will not host another event. No, I will not drink when I don’t feel like it. No, I would rather stay at home by the fire reading a book. Plain and simple. 

✓ What I’m choosing instead:

Boundaries: the kind that support your nervous system, your calendar, and your sanity. I no longer require a packed holiday calendar.

❌ 2. Skipping Meals “To Save Up” for the Big Dinner

Starving yourself before a holiday meal doesn’t make the meal healthier.
It just sets you up for a blood-sugar roller coaster and an evening of “how did I eat THAT much?”

I actually haven’t done this in many years, but I used to. I used to think that if I didn’t eat all day before a holiday or party, it would justify the meal. There is no justification needed. I enjoy my meals. I eat normally on holidays or when I have an event, and I choose to savor the pie, dessert, or specialty drink, knowing I will return to my healthy habits and how I live 90% of the time.

✓ What I’m choosing instead:

Real meals with protein + fiber 90% of the time, and allowing the event days to include the occasional indulgence.
A stable metabolism = better choices AND more enjoyment.

❌ 3. Pretending I’m Not Stressed

The perfect holiday table that’s just not happening this year.

Holiday stress is a real physiological state. This, combined with my tendency towards SAD (seasonal affective disorder), means I wake up in a state of fight or flight most winter days.

Years ago, I would swallow my stress and keep powering through…and then wonder why I broke down in tears at the end of the day after a day of literally not stopping.

✓ What I’m choosing instead:

Nervous system nourishment
• breathwork
• slower mornings
• unplugged walks
• magnesium and minerals
• three deep breaths before meals and not looking at my phone

Small shifts. Big impact.

❌ 4. Being the Holiday Director

My focus this holiday season

At one point in my life, I was planning, coordinating, cooking, shopping, wrapping, greeting, hosting, cleaning, and smiling while doing it all.

Was anybody asking me to do that?
Not really.
I assigned myself the entire job, and when you do that, people assume you like it and will gladly take you up on your offer.

✓ What I’m choosing instead:

Lower expectations + shared responsibility
Everyone can contribute. (Yes—even the ones who “don’t do kitchens.”)

❌ 5. Pushing Through Exhaustion Because “It’s the Holidays”

The mindset that you can rest in January is… a January problem waiting to happen.

✓ What I’m choosing instead:

Early nights + slow mornings 
Because when you’re rested, everything feels more manageable… and more enjoyable. My morning routine is what has grounded me for years. Without it, I feel a bit untethered. Routine brings calm and peace to my entire day.

The Real Truth?

The Post-Holiday Exhaustion is REAL

The holidays don’t require perfection. They require presence with those around you. My youngest daughter is having surgery on December 23rd, repairing a fractured septum from a ski accident a couple of years ago. Her breathing has been terrible lately, and it became apparent that mouth tape wouldn’t fix the problem. I want to be 100% present for her healing on Christmas Eve while force-feeding her bone broth and collagen, when I usually host 40 people. The party will still be at my house, but I’m going to practice what I preach to you. Let others help. Simplify. The perfect table doesn’t trump the energy and love of those you surround yourself with.

When you protect your energy, stabilize your blood sugar, give your nervous system breathing room, and allow yourself to do LESS…
You feel better, enjoy more, and recover faster.

This season, let yourself be human.
Not superhuman.

Cheers to Your Health! XDeeDee